I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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