it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
