I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
