He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
