Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
