Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
