If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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