forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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