Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
