Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
