but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
