She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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