Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
