moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
