some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
