i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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