I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Do vagina's smell?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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