the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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