No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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