Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
