Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
