4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
