i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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