I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize