so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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