Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
