drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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