its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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