RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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