So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
