Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
