Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
