You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize