Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
