Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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