oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You ate ashes out of my bong
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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