don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
