I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
