FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize