Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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