2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
