check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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