i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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