The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
