i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
