I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
