I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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