i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
