Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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