I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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