ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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