let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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