that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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