my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize