I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
