Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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