You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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