So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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