eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i drank out of a bidet.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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