Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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