whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize