I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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