So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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