called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
